The Bachelor: Episode One Recap

Juan Pablo is back and if the premiere episode of The Bachelor is any indication, this season is going to be all sorts of awesome. My prediction is that eventually the language barrier will become too challenging for some contestants, Juan Pablo’s Laissez-Faire attitude will surely annoy others, and those who actually make it to the end will constantly second-guess both their feelings about Juan Pablo and his feelings about them. Standard fare when it comes to this TV franchise.

Because I dropped the ball on writing a recap from last week’s premiere, I figured I’d preview this week’s episode with my initial take on each of the women who remained after last week’s rose ceremony. Sadly, no matter how hard Kathy Griffin-lookalike Kylie tried to steal a rose at the end of the episode, she was one of 10 people to whom Juan Pablo did not give a flower.

Amy L, 27, Florida, local news reporter: first out of the limo. she keeps touching her chest and seems really cheery. Hot red dress though, can’t say I remember much else.

Cassandra, 21, former NBA dancer: she’s YOUNG. She says she feels like the night has taken so long to get here.. and follows that up with awkward silence, laughter and nothing to say. Steph says “she’s going to be the one everyone hates.”

Christy, 24, marketing manager, Chicago: She looks like a marketing person. She said she wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t Juan Pablo. I’m sure you’re the only who is only there because of Juan Pablo. She wore a white dress and a head piece; I thought she was destined for a first night exit.

Nikki, 26, nurse. Juan Pablo mocks her wimpy wave. She is going to show how excited.nervous she is by him listening to her heart. That was a good first impression. She walkes away and he bites his knuckles and says “no more limos.”

Kat, 29, medical sales rep. She looked crazy right off the bat. She’s from scottsdale and has been a dancer since she was little… but of course never has never learned to salsa. Wants to learn right now; now they are salsa’ing. That was good.

Chantel, 27, San Diego. First black girl on the show this season, I wonder how diverse the cast will be. She says people have problems pronouncing his name so she pronounces her name. Juan Pablo definitely gives her black booty a good up and down as she walks away.

Victoria, 24, from Brazil. They speak in spanish together. She’s hot, they talk about portuguese and spanish. He says “cute one.” She’s definitely Top Five

Lucy, 24, free spirit. Shows up shoeless, in flowing white dress and flowers in hair. Guess she’s the second person to show up in a white dress, albeit a quite different style. Juan Pablo has to think she’s crazy. I can’t really see her lasting long because she’s so completely different than anything on the show. However, it would produce some random drama.

Danielle, 25, psychiatric nurse. They look at each other. She has a present inside but they have to make one on one time. He promises her. That’s it. Not sure if this is a good or bad sign but I don’t remember the gift.

Juan Pablo runs after the next person on a piano pedicap.

Lauren S, 26, music composer. She’s artsy, plays a pretty good song but messes up and they both cringe. Juan likes it. She’s super nervous; music is her passion. Right now I’m going to put her in my Top Five

Juan Pablo then runs after her into the room. He didn’t get Lauren’s name. Now he’ll remember her.

Chelsie, 24, science educator. She says her name and she’s a teacher for a science museum. Science experiment, with safety goggles, test tubes, Instead of doing chemistry, why don’t we have chemistry. She then thanks him for liking the pick up line. I think she’s out early.

Elise, 27, first grade teacher. Says “hi” like she’s talking to a kid. She’s going home first date. They have so many things in common, that’s it. she is going to talk to him like a kid. Mom passed away a little over a year ago, reluctant to tell it. She thinks her mom is guiding her.

Claire, hairstylist, she’s pregnant, oh wait it’s not real. “You lookgorgeous with a belly,” JP says. I think she’s crazy but JP thinks she’s very cute. I can’t see her being a house favorite but I do see her in my Top Five

Looking for a teammate, Allie, 26, nanny, chicago. Brings a soccer ball with adidas sambas. JP keeps the ball

Renee, 32, real estate agent, Sarasota. Single mother, just one kid, 8-year-old son ben. They are both excited, the kid reveal wasn’t a big deal and JP would later remember Ben’s name. From the opening she was shown throwing a spiral and paddleboarding. I think she’s in the Top Five

A little doggie with a Juan Pablo bandana. Kellie, 27, profession: dog lover. I don’t know if this is worse than if she was a cat lady. She is tall and skinny and molly apparently gets to stay?

Sharleen, 29 she looks very educated, very professional; oh she’s Canadian…but flew in from Germany. She’s been working there as an opera singer! He can’t wait to hear her; she’s awkward and just stands with arms straight down. During one-on-one time, Juan tells her he likes singers and he seems very interested and then she talks about wieners. He likes how she’s a world traveler. She doesn’t speak a single word of SPanish. WOW, she’s getting the first impression rose?! Didn’t see that. Meanwhile, she tells the camera she wishes she feels more chemistry and looks a little distraught. She says the connection seemed forced. “Seriously” she says when JP returns with the rose. He offers it and after a looooong pause and she says “sure,” than says “thnk you sir” JP is shocked. “Okay sir,” again. Yikes

Andi, 26, Last but not least, Juan says she looks gorgeous and just can’t stop saying wow. He’ll get closer but that makes her more nervous. They have good banter. He asks her name again and then says he’s horrible with names. “How am i going to do this, huh? how am i going to send people home?” JP is very infatuated with her, and they joke about law and he jokes about her in the house. He is totally flirting with her. Top Five

JP says he has to make decisions thinking about life, daughter, family.

Roses: Claire, Nikki, Renee, Andi, Allie, Chantal, Lauren S., Kellie (Molly), Cassandra, Danielle, Chelsie, Kat (oh shit Kylie walks up), Victoria, Christy, Lucy!, Elise, Amy L

Top Five
Favorite: Andi
Renee
Lauren S.
Victoria
Claire

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2 thoughts on “The Bachelor: Episode One Recap

    • Yea…I didn’t do that well with Victoria. To be honest, I couldn’t remember much of the first episode except my descriptions of the ladies. I thought the Brazilian thing would take her far…but it was her undoing. My updated Top Five list (due out Saturday) will be updated based on episode 2.

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